Dark and Twisty: You’re not listening B. Users are incomplete. I intend you to be whole
Me: Haha. Well ya might be here a while then. 😛
Dark and Twisty: There is work to be done
Dark and Twisty: You have been the used
Dark and Twisty: Now you need the converse
Me: And he sees me.
Dark and Twisty: There is no light without being dark
Me: Which am I to be now?
Dark and Twisty: Indeed
Dark and Twisty: Seize control of you
More discoveries to be had.
I have always known that I constantly seek men’s validation and approval. I’ve built my life around it. Constantly searching. But men do a horrible job at filling the void that’s inside of me. They take, use, abandon and try to possess.
No wonder I am so fucking miserable! I am looking for validation in all the wrong places.
So does anybody else find it interesting that my salvation arrives in the form of a man? A man who promises to make me complete? By showing me all the things I can be? By giving me the tools to live (his words- not mine)?
And in the same token- how much I have lapped it up? Begged for it even? Make me whole sir. Make me whole.
Well. I’m awake now. And Fuck you. Fuck you very much. Literally, figuratively, and all the ways in between.
He must derive great pleasure from this. The teaching. I bet it makes him feel so very powerful to dole out these life lessons. To save these poor little women. Only then can he be complete. (Again- his words not mine. I am just now finding the context.)
So here I am. Spending the weekend feeling angry with my Dark and Twisty. The very nerve of him! To know who I am and let me helplessly play my game! To seduce, distract, sedate and bamboozle me… Oh how does he do this so well? I am crazy for this deliciously dark man. My deliciously dark fantasy.
His unknown is going to eat me up and swallow me whole.
Fuck you sir. Fuck you.