Parking

An intelligent man is my kryptonite.

Mr. Unicorn is an intelligent man.

The e-mails flowed easily between us for those first few days.  I never once felt as though I was forcing any of our connection.  He avoided all discussion surrounding sex (which is honestly a must for me- when I’m first getting to know someone).  It seemed we were really hitting it off.

We moved our conversation to the realm of Skype and I was happy to discover that things were still going well.  I didn’t get bored interacting with him- but instead I wanted MORE.

While this wasn’t the organic affair I was looking for, it was certainly proving to be promising.  And I was relieved.

We made the plan to meet up at a discrete location to see each other face to face.  The war began to bubble up inside of me.  I like to make a lot of big talk about not having any moral compass- but the truth is I really do have one.  I just choose to ignore it at times to get what I need. Selfish, selfish.

I drove to the park we’d decided to meet at, my hands gripping the steering wheel shakily.  I was worried he wouldn’t like me, of course.  I thought about turning around.  Better not.  But yet, I kept driving.  I think part of me wanted to erase all memory of my Dark and Twisty.  Having a Unicorn would certainly help with such things.  Although in my heart I know that nothing will ever replace my D&T.   You always remember your first.

I soon arrived at the location. I turned on my charm to mask my fear.  He greeted me with a hug.  It was pleasant- albeit a little awkward.

We sat and talked in his car.  Looking at each other. Trying to get a feel as to whether this actually does have potential.  He is definitely a dad.  That’s not a bad thing, it’s actually kind of adorable.  But he has that “dad” feel. The “family man” feel. I’ve moved into another realm. That was the nice thing about D&T. I knew he belonged to someone else, but it wasn’t readily apparent.  He was fairly independent.  My Unicorn has “I belong to someone” written all over him. I am aware that I am stealing something precious whenever we are together.  It does not help with the guilt.

I think he liked me well enough.  He said as such.  He seemed fairly genuine.  I’m not sure if he’s just excited at the prospect of having an affair partner he can see on the regular.  His previous dances have involved women that have lived in other states/countries.  I’m the first girl he has the chance to touch, to hold, to kiss. You’ll always remember your first.

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