I hate him.
He disgusts me.
With his constant need for affection and attention. With his dirty poetry hoping he’ll get lucky later. With his lying in bed next to his wife, kids sleeping in the other room, and him thinking about how he’s going to fuck me.
Unicorn: I love the way you look at me with your hand wrapped around my cock. It’s amazing.
I’m smirking at my computer as I read his line of text, recalling our earlier adventure. I remember the look well.
It was the look of pure power. I had him. Right where I wanted him. In that moment I was everything to him. Sex. Is. So. Powerful.
I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me this go-around but I simply cannot keep my shit together.
With Dark and Twisty it was easy. Okay, maybe not. But I didn’t war too much with the concept of sleeping with him. Or being in love with him. Or meeting with him. I risked it all to have just moments of his time.
But with Unicorn? I’m freaking out. Maybe it’s because I have the opportunity to see him more frequently. I’m not sure. But I can’t even relax when I’m with him because I’m terrified I’m going to be caught.
I really enjoy telling stories in a linear progression. But I’m going to have jump ahead a bit with my unicorn.
Let’s just say we’ve been together quite a few times, and it’s been great. Dreamy even. We’ve exchanged professions of love (Too soon? Probably- but sometimes these things can move quickly). We’ve kissed, we’ve shared, and we’ve laughed. We haven’t had our collision yet- that’s coming. Full speed ahead. I’m still painting the picture, but on a much smaller scale. I’m trying to live in the moment.
I see something in him that I knew was present, but I didn’t really want to face.
He is hopelessly in love with his wife.
An intelligent man is my kryptonite.
Mr. Unicorn is an intelligent man.
The e-mails flowed easily between us for those first few days. I never once felt as though I was forcing any of our connection. He avoided all discussion surrounding sex (which is honestly a must for me- when I’m first getting to know someone). It seemed we were really hitting it off.
We moved our conversation to the realm of Skype and I was happy to discover that things were still going well. I didn’t get bored interacting with him- but instead I wanted MORE.
Browsing craigslist personals is one of my absolute favorite hobbies. I usually only browse when I’m in need of a pick me up. Nothing like the sad depravity of the interwebs to remind myself that I am in fact, doing pretty fucking well- all things considered.
I happened upon a post from a married man who was seeking an affair. He didn’t want it to be only about the sex- he wanted a real connection as well. He also asserted he was really a sweet guy, but this just had to be done. Fact of life.
I’m back, bitches.
Did you miss me?
I’m going to go with no, since I’ve transplanted my old blog here thus losing all of my previous followers.
I’ve been busy “finding myself”- whatever the fuck that looks like. I’ve got some new activities to entertain myself with (that don’t include fucking married men). I’m doing well in my business ventures.
And yet- I’m missing something.